The more fragile the client’s system the lighter our touch will be. I call this a ‘Butterfly Touch’.

Describing to others what the appropriate level of touch is for fragile systems or end of life patients, proved to be the most important part of this teaching. I pondered on this for a long time, looking for a way to demonstrate easily so everyone would understand without any question or ambiguity.

I hit upon the answer in my local supermarket store when looking at baby bath sponges. I know this sounds crazy, but the simplest ideas are often the most effective and I tested this out in many of my face-to-face Cancer Care Workshops with attending Clinical Leads and their therapists. The feedback was that it was an effective tool to demonstrate the pressure we should be using and many Clinical Leads asked permission to use it to demonstrate to massage therapists too. Of course I was happy to share.

Go and buy a baby bath sponge, mine is a small soft round one and fits into the palm of my hand. The dimensions are depth just slightly over 4cm and the diameter is 10cm.

Bring your thumb and middle finger to the middle of the sponge and depress so they meet in the middle.

This pressure is a gentle to normal pressure suitable for most people but would be too deep for clients with a compromised immune system or towards end of life.

The appropriate gentler touch is half of this.

Now, move your thumb and finger from the middle to the edge of the sponge. Depress again but this time only take them halfway. Approximately depressing the thumb by 1cm and the finger by 1cm towards each other. You are not meeting in the middle.

This is the pressure you need to be using. However, please be aware that you may at times use an even lighter pressure, which would be more of a holding touch.

Key to this is to ask if this is gentle enough and give your client permission to say stop when they feel ready. Assure them you will be watching and they only need to signal and you will stop.